On Sunday night there was a security breach that led to a lockdown at Newark airport.  A man walked undetected through a secure area of a terminal.  One man’s actions led to thousands of passengers being stranded for close to six hours.

I don’t know about you but if I had been in that airport that night I would have been so annoyed.  Your plans are ruined and you have no other option but to wait it out with strangers.  I mean come on, these are not happy little travelers on the floor of an aiport.

If you’re ever in that situation, I hope there’s someone around that’s willing to grab his guitar and make a positive impact in a difficult situation.  A man like Josh Wilson.  He led fellow travelers in a version of “Hey Jude” and it looks as though it lightened things up…if only for a few minutes.

I’ve loved reading the comments on this video.

From Alisha54:  Just wanted to say that while I didn’t get to see you play, I was stuck somewhere among that Newark mess too. The story of your music spread through the airport and gave people some sort of positivity and hope… even those of us who didn’t see it first hand! Thanks for being courageous enough to stand up and belt it out

From Dangerosslee: thanks josh, you make me see that harmony can exist and people really aren’t that bad. in down times there can be an upside.

From Sceptile2390: this kind of video reminds me of the goodness in some people’s hearts

One man can’t make everything right when there’s chaos all around.  But one man can remind us that when things feel like they’re out of control, there’s always a way to make the best of it. If even for a moment.

If you’d like to hear some of Josh’s own songs, I’d encourage you to take the time and listen.  He’s a great guy and these songs come from the heart.

In 2010, I’m going to seek out something new everyday.  Whether it’s knowledge (useful or useless),  new music, new books, new people I meet along the journey.  I really want to make the effort to take the time to discover something new every day and encourage you to do the same.

This inspiration came about because as I stood in the shower tonight I learned something new.  There’s a massage setting on my showerhead.  I’ve lived in my apartment for 5 months and had never discovered this before.  It makes a difference to have a massage option when you’re in there, especially if you’ve had a tough workout and your body is feeling the pain that comes from not working out as you should have for a few months.

Lesson learned today…pay attention to details and you could reap the benefits.

Also, my friend Ryan texted today and recommended a band called Stephen Kellog and the Sixers.   Just checked them out on Itunes and it’s pretty good stuff.

If you’ve had a “something new” experience today, please share!  I’d love to hear about it

peace!

As Clara Ortega put it “To the outside world we all grow old.  But not to brothers and sisters.  We know each other as we always were.  We know each other’s hearts.  We share private family jokes.  We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.  We live outside the touch of time.”

So, to honor my big bro, Chris, here are 35 random memories that he may or may not remember.  All full of love and thankfulness that I was born as his sister and got to spend the formative years of my life with him by my side, looking out for me and driving me crazy at the same time.  Oh the beauty of family!!! 

Chris–here’s a trip down memory lane—and a few reminders of the impact you’ve had in my life.  ; )

1. Doing the math: sitting around and using a calculator to figure out how old we were going to be when the year 2000 rolled around.  It really did seem like something futuristic and beyond our understanding as we sat on the floor adding up that I would be 24 and you would be 26!
2. Use your platform: one night, not long after Kurt Cobain died, we ended up talking about life and how to live it well.  I’ll never forget you mentioning that Kurt had wasted his platform.  He had the whole world listening and he took that voice away.  You looked at me and said “If you have a platform you use it to do good no matter what.  You use that platform to make a positive impact.”  Those words have stayed in my mind through the years and I’ve put them into action thanks to you.
3. ’65 Mustang: that car was a blessing and a curse.  So many great memories of driving around and having fun with friends…but towards the end me riding in the back and holding rope to keep the muffler off the ground while straddling the back seat to avoid my feet going through the exposed hole in the bottom of the car wasn’t so glorious.  You told me I’d laugh about it someday and here I am laughing.
4. The Big Blue Bubble: road trips to Florida in that camper/bus were always an adventure! It was SO ugly yet unforgettable.
5. Alter Egos: we lived in a time with no video games.  We used our imagination which was sometimes…a little scary.  We created these alter egos.  There was a good girl/bad girl and a good guy/bad guy and sometimes when we were playing with friends you’d think you were playing with your friends and the good girl but all of sudden I’m morph into bad girl and start causing trouble.  And vice versa with your guy character.  I’m wondering now if that had something to do with the legalistic church we went to that created a fear of “bad” in us and we were rebelling by creating these alter egos.  Ok that or we were just fun.
6. Rocky and Bullwinkle: just typing that reminds me of us having breakfast on weekday mornings and watching Rocky & Bullwinkle before going to school.  Fractured Fairytales made the day!
7. Rolling on Shannon Game:  you must have loved how naïve your little sister was.  I still love that you convinced me that the coolest game ever was the one in which you would tell me to lie still on the floor next to a bed.  You’d get on the bed and roll off and land on top of me.  I’d laugh and you’d tell me to stay still and you’d roll and land on me again.
8. Shrubbery Beating: who cares if it was slightly breaking the law? It was fun and pointless.
9. Road trip to Georgia: when I was in college we went on a road trip to pick up some of my things from my apartment in Toccoa.  On the way home we went through Atlanta where the brakes went out on my car, then once we got back on the road we faced one of the worst traffic jams in Atlanta history on one of the hottest days the city had ever seen.  And we were in my Honda Accord that had no AC.  Miserable circumstances turned into incredible memories.
10. Loogie’s Landing:  dude, we have video proof that we thought it would be cool to do a Wayne’s World parody series.  Just wanted to remind you that those still exist
11. Barbie: never knew where Barbie would be when I went to play.  Sometimes she and Ken were safe and sound.  Sometimes there was a ransom note taped to her house that mentioned she had been kidnapped by Cobra’s team and I could find her in the basement.  Sometimes she still had all of her limbs and others she may have been burned or had her hair cut off by Cobra’s folks.
12. GI Joe: you’d convince me to play GI Joe and once we started playing you would reveal to me that I only was Cobra again.  You promised that someday I’d get to be GI Joe and I’m still patiently waiting.
13. Potato guns and backyard fires: Scott with a can of WD-40 and a match =our mom’s favorite dogwood tree on fire.  We had to keep him away from anything flammable at our house after that
14. Civil Air Patrol: dude, did we really join Civil Air Patrol and run laps in combat boots on the tarmac?  What on earth were we thinking?
15. Magnolia Tree:  remember MaMa Moore’s house in the summer?  It was always hotter in that house than it was outside!  I remember we’d go outside and play under this big magnolia tree that gave us shade a fun place to play until we went back to our home with AC.
16. Fork in the Road: remember that scene in the muppet movie where Kermit & Fozzie come to a fork in the road?  I remember watching that scene over and over again and giggling so much.  It’s the lamest thing ever yet it’s tied into watching the muppets with you so I still love that lame scene to this day.
17. S.W.A.T.: Always knew it was a Friday night and we could stay up late because Momma would let us stay up late enough to watch that show S.W.A.T.  Some weekends we’d actually camp out in the basement to watch it.  Seen that show lately?  Watched an episode in Hulu a few weeks ago and let me tell ya…it does not stand the test of time!
18. Sarcastic vs. Being an Ass: life lessons come in unexpected ways.  When I was going through my bitter “take everything out on my family phase” I was cuttingly sarcastic.  Never thinking of anyone but me.  One day you had enough and let me have it and you said “There’s a difference between  being sarcastic and being an ass.  Learn it Shannon.”
19. Refrigerator Boxes: it’s amazing how awesome the simplest things can be when you’re a kid.  Remember daddy bringing home those big refrigerator boxes and making them into forts?  They didn’t last that long but they were always fun
20. Rocky IV Incident:  pretty sure it was the Rocky IV movie that you watched the night before this happened.  I remember hearing screaming from your room in the middle of the night.  Sounded like you were fighting off someone.  Guess daddy though the same thing because he ran to protect you and fight off your “attacker” and in his sleepy state punched a hole in the wall in the hallway.
21. Scars:  I have so many scars from my attempts to keep up with you and your friends.  Chasing after you and your buddies always led to my shedding some blood.  I remember you mentioning years ago that you felt bad about that…but I have to say that each of those scars is a sweet memory to me.  They’re reminders of being a kid and having no fear. So thanks for being so much faster and sometimes trying to ditch me
22. Atari: pretty sure that thing came from a garage sale…but it sure did give us hours of fun and blisters.
23. His name was Biff:  a family trip out west.  14 states, 13 major cities and countless amounts of annoying moments and fights.  Yet there was that song we made up.  “His name was Biff, Biff, Biff, he jumped off the cliff, cliff, cliff.”  I think it’s clear that we’ve always been a bit on the dark side of things.
24. When Wasps Attack: pretty sure I had a built in magnet for wasps.  Remember when we were playing on Bennett Drive and I was attacked by SO many of those evil things that I couldn’t even walk to get home to see Momma?  I’ll never forget that you helped me home and made sure I was ok.  I always knew you had my back…no matter what.
25. Abominable Snowman: anytime I come across the Rudolph Christmas special I’m immediately freaked out because it scares me to this day.  At the same time I think of you and how much you loved that thing…especially the “Bumble” and it makes me smile.
26. Sleepwalking:  I loved waking up in the mornings when you were going through your sleepwalking phase.  I would jump out of bed and run to ask momma what you did the night before.  One of my favs was when you set the “table” on the stairs leading down to the basement.
27. Christmas Eve campouts: we didn’t have many traditions but one I loved was when we’d camp out by the fireplace on the floor of momma & daddy’s room on Christmas Eve.  The Alabama Christmas album playing as we tried to calm down enough to fall asleep.
28. Wonder Twins:  at a certain point in my childhood you convinced me that we were really the wonder twins.  I thought we had powers and could transform. Thanks for making me believe…adulthood bashes that wonder right out of ya.
29. The Supremes:  any road trip with the family was always full of oldies music.  You never ceased to perk up when a Supremes song came on.  You always knew all the words and did little car dances along to the songs.  Greatly amusing when I was a kid and still amusing all these years later!
30. “We Are The World”: remember how excited we were when Momma picked us up from school and she had bought the “we are the world” record?  We listened to it over and over and over and over that afternoon and loved it everytime.
31. White Water Rafting: road trip with Uncle Ralph & Geromy, listening to hits from the 70s and 80s.  Playing poker by campfire.  White water rafting.  Miss him but so thankful for those memories together.
32. Tennis Obsession:  I’m pretty sure that we (along with a few friends) were convinced that we were the next tennis super stars.  Remember being inspired by Andre Agassi and shopping for his line of tennis clothes.  Wow, who knew he was doing meth at the time?
33. An Apology for Punching Your Friend: when I was in 3^rd grade I lost it and got sick of your friend making fun of me.  I’m sure momma remembers the moment well.  She showed up to school to see me (all dressed up in one of my favorite dresses) hitting your friend.  You stood there laughing but I’ve always wondered how embarrassing that had to be.  So…sorry dude.
34. Monty Python Humor: I love that sometimes when you watch that movie with someone they laugh at all the same parts.  And other times people would look at you and wonder why on earth you’d be laughing at something so stupid.  Thanks for giving me the gift of the unexpected in the land of humor
35. The Rainbow Connection: dude, this stands the test of time.  : )  I remember being amazed that you learned how to play this on the piano.  I stood in awe of you for that.  Maybe I was easily amused but still love this song because it reminds me of my big bro.  Here’s a reminder for ya:

Grocery shopping isn’t a casual experience for me.  It’s a goal.  To attain said goal I make a list, go in, stay focused, get items in cart, head to checkout, pay and move on with life.  Honestly, there have been times when I’ve avoided someone I knew in a grocery store because it would be a distraction from my goal.  I know it’s completely crazy but self-awareness of crazy is better than walking through life blind.

As I stood at the checkout today, I was annoyed with the cashier.  It’s like she didn’t respect the mission I was on and the fact that I didn’t want to waste any time to get this accomplished.  She casually talked to me about her life and her kids as she slowly scanned items.  I kept thinking if I ignored her comments she might speed up the process.  Alas, she just kept talking as I offered to bag my own groceries.  Then I heard these words, “Guess I just get chatty when I’m nervous.  My husband found out he’s losing his job today.”

Hi my name is Shannon and I’m a selfish moron sometimes.

I looked up and told her I was sorry and wished I could help.  She told me the greatest gift I could give her would be to pray for the family.  She kept repeating that she knew things would be alright.  That God would provide and there was no sense in losing sleep over it.

As I left the store today I thought of this lady that I was trying to rush past.  Then I thought of all the people I know who have lost their jobs this year.  It’s a weird time for so many of us.  Our country seems to be gripped by fear and worry and we’re along for the ride.

Then Rich Mullins came to mind. He wrote this article that I had posted in my dorm room when I was in college.  When I felt stressed I’d read it and it always helped me calm down.  Maybe it can do the same for you or someone you love.

The Sound and the Worry

We are surrounded by – we are dependent on (and weirdly, quite even indebted to) a hundred million things that are just beyond our reach and completely beyond our control. Things like favorable weather; the honesty and good intentions of those people among and with whom we live, work and play; balanced budgets; tomorrow and tomorrow in its creeping, petty pace; our next paycheck; dependable machinery; our next breath.

A hundred million things. All of them are just as real as they are invisible, just as available as they are necessary, just as likely to fall on the just as on the unjust, as apt to shine on those who worry as on those who hope. (The difference being that those who worry are less able to enjoy things than those who hope.) But for all of us, we are surrounded by things we cannot predict, control, possess or avoid – things that press us and compete for control – a competition that must be decidedly won by “faith” or we will be lost.

It is easy in the frantic, task-driven “day-to-day” for us to lose our “centers” – our souls – our sense of who we are and what is really important. We are haunted by the ghosts of the “what if’s” who live in the shadows of the “if only’s.” They accuse us, torment us, tempt us to abandon the freedom we have in Christ.

But, if we still ourselves, if we let Him calm us, focus us, equip us for the day, He will remind us of our Father’s prodigal generosity and about the pitiful weakness of greedy men. He will remind us (as He reminded the devil) that “Man does not live by bread alone,” though He may call us (as He called His first disciples) to give bread to the hungry (presumably because man cannot live long without bread). He will remind us about the cares that burden common people, the illusions that blind those the world calls “lucky,” and the crippling effects of worry. Then He will give us hope- hope that stretches us (where worry bent us) and faith – faith that sustains us (where greed smothered us) and love – love that is at the bottom of our deepest desires, the loss of which is at the root of all our fears.

The other night I dreamt that I was stuck in an airport terminal – another canceled flight; another long, anxious wait. The place was packed with stranded passengers and misplaced luggage, and I sank into a chair by the phone booths, waiting for the oxygen masks to drop out of the ceilings (it was a dream, remember). Suddenly, I noticed this distressed man, sobbing, pulling his hair out by the handfuls, and so I leaned over to ask him what was the matter and if I could help.

“What’s wrong, sir?” I asked. He grabbed yet another handful of his hair and sobbed, “I’m afraid I’m going bald!” And so it goes. We are surrounded by a million possibilities, all of which remind us that we are not the “captains of our own fates.” As we face these possibilities, let’s remember who our captain is.  Let us not be made captives of worry.

I watched 17 Again and liked the movie.  I have even come to understand why teenage girls swoon over that kid Zac Efron.  Dang it he’s a decent actor.  There I said it…

I like Miley Cyrus’ song Party in the USA.  When I first heard it at work I told my friends Josh and Betsy that I would never like it but admitted it was a good pop song.  They told me I would cave and despite my music snobbery…I have come to like the song.  You know it’s gone through your mind in the past week or so…”noddin’ my head like yeah! Moving my hips like yeah!”  Oh bugger, bugger…

I wrote cheesy poems when I was 17.  Keep in mind it was 16 years ago.  I was an incredibly angry teenager who had an abusive dad who was practically stalking the family after my parents divorced and the world really didn’t make sense to me.

You never write a cheesy poem at 17 and think you’ll read it at 33 and find words from your youth that challenge you.

God I fear what’s left unsaid

All these thoughts locked in a heart of stone

I’m crying out

Break my heart, make me see

All that’s holding me back, all these chains inside

Teach me—

That I’m gonna get what’s coming to me

I’m gonna be free

No more fear, no more doubts

When I give you me

I’m holding back from the ones I love

All the pain in my soul

Carrying all of this alone is stunting my growth

Now I know what I must do and it’s all about You

I’m on my knees so please teach me—

That I’m gonna get what’s coming to me

I’m gonna be free

No more fear, no more doubts

When I give you me

It’s time to turn the key

To open my soul

Give up all of the pride

And just let You inside

Now I know

I’m gonna get what’s coming to me

I’m gonna be free

No more fear, no more doubts

As I give you me

All these years later I’m still holding back and refusing to really let people in.  Deep down do any of us really believe that others would love us if they knew our innermost thoughts…who we really are?  How can we ever live up to the expectations others impose on us?  Who others expect us to be?

Fear of being known and others deciding that I’m not who they thought I was going to be–that fear has affected every relationship in my life.  My therapist says my willingness to admit this and live in self-awareness is a bold step.  I say it’s lame, long overdue and I’m working on it!  That’s why I pay him…he’s wiser and doesn’t react emotionally like I do.

I haven’t quite gotten what’s coming to me…that complete freedom that 17 year old me thought was just around the corner.  33 year old me feels she’s closer than ever…and appreciates cheesy 17 year old me for the reminder.  And yes I guess that God guy had something to do with this…He can be so sneaky at times.  Just sayin…

I moved from California to Tennessee.

In moving back to Tennessee I came to terms with the fact that I ran from my southern roots and pain from the past that happened here in the south

In realizing I had run from the past I’ve faced some demons

In facing demons I’ve found some peace

In finding peace I’ve embraced hope

In embracing hope…I’ve learned to really live. 

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, “Thoughts in Solitude”

This is a decision that was not made lightly. I’m sure you understand that for everything there is a season and I feel complete peace with this move and my day to day involvement in this ministry coming to an end.

I’ve been at KDUV-FM for close to 8 years and have treasured getting to spend time with you each day and share in the highs and lows of life with you. God has used you to make an impact in my life and I thank you for that!

I do ask that you do me a favor…will you keep KDUV-FM in your prayers? We’re on the hunt for a new Program Director to take my place in helping lead the KDUV-FM team. Our general manager, Bob Croft, could use prayers for wisdom in making such a key decision for the station.

I’m excited to see where God takes this ministry and you in the years to come. Know that I’m leaving a little piece of my heart in the Valley. If you’d like to stay in touch I’m on Facebook so just look me up!

Peace and Be God’s!
Shannon Steele